Posted by bridgey1128 on November 17, 2004, at 14:59:32
In reply to Re: May I join in?, posted by stresser on November 17, 2004, at 7:05:20
Sabrina, my son just turned 7 as well in Oct and yours sounds EXACTLY like mine. He's on Concerta and Ritalin in the afternoons when the Concerta(54mg) wears off. His crying jags aren't as bad because he is on the meds but I can tell you one thing. His behavior and crying is a direct correlation to my behavior and moods. If you are depressed and angry or sad and tired, he is going to reflect that in bad behavior or crankiness. He doesn't know what is wrong with mommy so it upsets him and it's going to reflect in bad behavior or sensitiveness. AKA bursting into tears at any given thing when you are upset. We all get really angry and we all yell. It may not be right, but it certainly is normal, so don't feel too guilty. Part of treating ADHD is meds and behavior modification which can include going to a counselor, Psych or just asking a knowledgable Dr. Our son has done so well, and did such a complete turn around on the meds that he didn't need much behavior modification because the meds took care of much of the behavior that needed changing. What exactly is GAD? Are you currently taking medication for your depression to help ease it? One thing I have learned is that part of the crying jag is for attention and sometimes the best thing you can do is just to tell them, "If you are going to act like that then you can just go to your room until you are ready to act like the big boy I know you are." It's not a spanking, it's separation from you. You acknowledged and immediately did something about the action, but you did not give him the attention that he wanted. You put him out of your sight. He can cry his eyes out but it doesn't matter. You aren't there to see it or hear it. And if he cries louder go to another part of the house . I have found it doesn't take very long for my son to calm himself down and come out of his room. You also didn't make him feel like he IS a baby. You called him a big boy by saying his actions were out of line with how a big boy should be acting. And that is what you consider him, not a baby. When he comes out, give him a hug and tell him you are glad to see your big boy again and how much you love him. I believe in a mix of positive and negative reinforcement. I believe wholeheartedly in spankings but I also believe in making your child know that he is loved and cared for. In fact, as soon as my kids get a spanking the first thing they usually say is, "Mommy, I love you!" and turn around for a hug. Sometimes they say, "I WANT MY DADDY!" hahaha I have definitely had my share of melt downs and scream fests. OH BOY have I. I think we all have. When you see "perfect" parents it seems rather creepy. Kind of like when you go to someone's house and it's in perfect, pristine condition with not a single spot of dust anywhere....creepy and unnatural. Kind of like Martha Stewart. Now, some people might have all day to clean their houses top to bottom...there is a name for those people...Obsessive Compulsive! My house is a mess, sad to say. But I would much rather have great kids and a messy house than a spotless house and brats. I had an ex boyfriend one time who had quite a bit of $$$. His parents came to my house to meet my parents and we were always "cat" people and they "dog" people. Well, our house was modest but we cleaned and cleaned to impress them. It was clean and smelled fine! BUt when I asked my boyfriend about what his parents thought he said they complained it smelled like cats. Well, I hate to tell him, but every time I went to his big huge 6 bedroom house..it stank like freaking nasty dogs! Yes, dogs can be clean. I like dogs. In fact, we have 2 rather large dogs. But I was rather insulted that they came and dared to say our house smelled of cat when their house stank to high heaven of Boston Terrier! That and those stupid dogs had the horrible habit of going into my room where I stayed and digging through my clothes and stealing my DIRTY UNDERWEAR!!! We came back one day and there was a lovely pair of my undies sitting on their kitchen table!!! AAAAHHH!!!! His grandmother had found them, and since she couldn't go up the stairs she had laid them on the table for me. HOW THOUGHTFUL!!! I thought I would die. And people wonder why I am a cat person.....
poster:bridgey1128
thread:416940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041114/msgs/417122.html