Posted by SadWren on October 26, 2004, at 23:39:57
In reply to Honesty versus Optimism, posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2004, at 0:46:55
I went through the application process and the thing I put off and was terrified of was asking people for recommendations. I was a good student/employee, but with anxiety and self esteem issues asking someone to say nice things about me was beyond daunting (I asked one non-academic person only a week before it was due).
Despite all my insecurities, the people I asked were amazingly kind about the whole thing even though two of the three were professors that I had had little experience with (took a class from one, was a teaching asst to the other). They invited me to come visit for a day to talk to them and they even arranged for me to meet with other professors who were interested in similar areas.
I just share that because I think that sometimes it can be hard to see that you are a great person and that the vast majority of other people will want to help you if they can (just put yourself in their position, for example). Of course if the asking part does not scare you, then at least realize that every applicant has their insecurities about this process and many PhD students are treated for mental health issues (until I sought treatment I had no idea how many of my classmates did). Most universities in the US have counseling services with group therapy for grad students and at my Univ it is extremely popular.
Good luck with your apps!
Wren
poster:SadWren
thread:407293
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041026/msgs/407740.html