Posted by Dinah on September 22, 2004, at 20:05:49
In front of my son. First one ever in front of my son. I had very good reason, although I wish I had handled it a lot better. I had done something unbelievably stupid and absent minded that could have led to the deaths of my mother's dogs. I couldn't have lived with myself if I had ended up a dog killer. Fortunately they're ok.
And this came right after my poor young son and I spent an hour trying to get my dad back into his wheelchair when he fell out. The poor boy is scared of blood anyway. But he behaved like a trooper. Helping me by squeezing cushions under my dad as I lifted him a few inches at a time. And him yelling and threatening to kill himself if i embarassed him by calling 911.
I'm going to have to call a home health agency tomorrow. My dad just can't be alone while my mother's in the hospital. And I'm not well enough to help him with the stuff he really needs help with, like bathing and going to the restroom. I'm not sure I'll ever be that well.
I wish I were a better person. I wish I didn't fall apart so as to scare my son. Or for that matter to get so upset and discombobulated that I almost caused two dogs deaths. And I thought I was getting better?
Now I've got to figure out how to make this day less traumatic for my son. He *hates* to talk about things, but he's got to be upset after two such upsetting incidents.
poster:Dinah
thread:393885
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040914/msgs/393885.html