Posted by Atticus on August 25, 2004, at 21:00:02
In reply to My meds, posted by Susan47 on August 25, 2004, at 19:24:12
Hi Susan,
I used to drink very heavily (whiskey, mostly), mainly because my old regimen of meds just weren't doing the job. (See my poem "Tyrannosaurus Meds" under writing for a better description of this, and what it did to my marriage.) I can really relate to the sense of self-loathing that comes from feeling like you're out of control. At numerous points during the eight years leading up to my suicide attempt, when no combo of meds seemed to be effective, I just threw up my hands in surrender from time to time and went on these alcohol and pot and pill binges. I'd wake up with every molecule in my body feeling like crap. I think I was desperately trying to numb myself to the point where nothing could hurt me anymore. Do you think you're doing these other drugs because your meds just aren't cutting it, or do you think something else is going on? My experience was that these things had a way of snowballing, and maybe if you can figure out now what's driving you to put all this stuff besides your meds into your body, it won't get completely out of control. At any rate, I've been there if you want to talk. Atticus
poster:Atticus
thread:382331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040820/msgs/382362.html