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Re: Work Problem » partlycloudy

Posted by Atticus on August 3, 2004, at 15:06:48

In reply to Re: Work Problem » TexasChic, posted by partlycloudy on August 2, 2004, at 10:54:10

Deciding what (if anything) to say about my illness (clinical depression and an associated panic disorder) to my boss and co-workers was incredibly difficult. However, my behavior at the office prior to my hospitalization had been so erratic that I knew I was very close to losing my job. I read through the provisions of the federal Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) very carefully to see what kind of legal anti-discrimination protections I had before I went any further. I was extremely nervous about how well the meeting I set up with my supervisor -- after getting out of the hospital and into an intensive outpatient program -- would go. I had all of this literature in a folder to try to explain how my illness was due to a chemical imbalance. In the end, things worked out OK. It turns out my boss's father suffered from depression and had been hospitalized for it twice. I asked her to be very discreet about things, and so far she has. I never told her about the suicide attempt, though, as I was afraid she would find that too unnerving. It's really touch and go in work situations like this. I've had to think long and hard about whom to take into my confidence. So far it's just my boss and one co-worker. I really don't want to have to deal with having all of my behavior seen through the lens of the mental illness by everyone each day. It's not that I'm ashamed of the illness; I think that would be like being ashamed of having diabetes. I just don't want to be seen as an illness with a person attached to it. There's also the problem of people expecting me to get "better." It ain't gonna happen, I tell them. This condition is for keeps. I can manage it, control it, but I can't make it go away entirely. Still, when I do have an "off" day, so to speak, it's frustrating not to be able to explain to the people I work with just why it's happening. Thank God for this site and the people who take part in it.
Atticus


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