Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2004, at 12:41:47
In reply to May I disagree with my friends?, posted by TofuEmmy on July 19, 2004, at 10:35:53
Emmy, I think that there is some validity to what you said. Dr. Bob handled the last situation badly and allowed a lot of people to be really hurt and upset. With an extra kick in the seat to those who were genuinely hurting by giving the unofficial seal of approval to the hurt by not considering it a problem.
This time my buttons weren't pressed, and I wasn't angry or upset. But maybe other people's buttons were pressed, my issues aren't everyone's. And in either case, when you hurt other people, intentionally or not, I think it's incumbent on you to try to make amends before expecting to be greeted warmly. Babblers are a pretty forgiving bunch, and if someone had offended before - probably even intentionally, definitely unintentionally - and came back and said "Hey. I screwed up. I'm sorry. I'd like to try again." I think most people would be (perhaps cautiously) open to it. Didn't that happen with (hmmmm thinking back....) Apperceptor? I'm sorry he isn't posting anymore. (I think I have the poster right). As an outsider in school, I understand the pain involved. But I don't think the two situations are comparable.
Actually, the pain underlying the behavior in question is relatively apparent, to my eyes anyway. As it was with the poster whose posts so resemble Fires. Perhaps the two of them could join up to lobby congress, set up a PAC, post a website, etc. And I'm not being at all sarcastic here. Both people have very strong views, and I'm all for people doing what they think ought to be done. Doing any of those things, to lobby to get psychiatry combined into neurology would be a heck of a lot more effective for them than coming to a board full of interpersonally oriented therapy believers and telling them that they are wrong. Have you ever known anyone to say. "Duh. Of course! Why didn't I see that! I'll drop my beloved therapist and my belief system about who I am at the core of my being immediately, and start writing anti-therapy posts!" The more likely attitude is for people to be more gung ho about their own beliefs.
But all that doesn't offset the fact that innocent bystanders were hurt here. That not all posters who left in distress have come back. That people feel very vulnerable about their therapy and diagnoses, and have to contend with cr*p IRL all the time, and don't want to be ummm.... surprised... where they feel safe. That I feel less safe disclosing, and more likely to keep things to myself.
It's a complex subject, and I can see several sides to it. And I wish Dr. Bob had handled it better - which would have been to *everyone's* benefit. Not just the posters who were hurt but everyone. Dr. Bob didn't do any favors to Fires by his actions. Dr. Bob's is the only side I don't quite get.
I sincerely doubt that the presence of another board has any impact at all on Dr. Bob's decisions. There have been many other boards all along, and splinter groups of Babble as well. Dr. Bob isn't scared his admin decisions will drive people away (which is obvious, isn't it?). And blocking has the same effect it always did. To limit someone's ability to post to Babble, not to the internet at large, not to communicate by email, etc. In fact, he pretty much allows passed on messages to be posted on Babble, as long as it isn't so blatant to be equivilant to a blocked poster posting.
Of course friends can disagree without it affecting a friendship.
(Now, if you really want to be friendly, why don't you extend a personal invitation to Fires to join you at the other site? Where he doesn't have a prior history to contend with?)
poster:Dinah
thread:367697
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040717/msgs/367763.html