Posted by karen_kay on July 9, 2004, at 11:11:49
In reply to T vacation, posted by underthecs on July 9, 2004, at 9:52:37
it's ok not to offer support when you don't have it in you dear, that's how things work here. it's like a big circle, we give and take.
and no one hates you. don't ever ever ever ever ever ever worry about that. worry about rain, worry about flat tires, worry about crying babies, worry about cavities, worry about what's in boca burgers, but don't ever worry that any one here hates you, ok? (and don't worry about the things i mentioned either, ok? i'll worry about those things for you, deal? and you can be worry free!)
of course you get worried and scared when your therapist goes on vacation!!!! that's NORMAL!!! who doesn't? that's your rock, and your rock is going away for a while! of course that's a bit scary! that's not pathetic, that's NORMAL! n-o-r-m-a-l.. normal! and it's normal not to want to admit that you were scared. i never wanted to admit to my therapist that i had some feelings of attachment to him.
what you are feeling is what everyone who has normal feelings of attachment towards their therapist feels when their therapist goes away on vacation. it is entirely normal. what i find helps is distraction. also, talking to friends helps to cope with that 'empty' feeling too. do you have an old comedy on vhs or dvd you can lose yourself in? or, do you have a funny friend you can call who will help distract you for a little while? what about a funny website? i find humor helps in this situation.
don't beat yourself up for not telling your therapist that you really did want to talk about this. it's a difficult subject to talk about dear. usually when i did talk about it, it was when i opened my mouth and it jsut came out, surprising us both. and i sat there red-faced the whole time (yes, sometimes my face does turn red). but, your feelings are normal. this happens to all of us. it's hard to talk about. perhaps, if you get the courage, you could leave him a message on voicemail? just blurt it out? that would force him to broach the subject during your next session... just a suggestion. i used to do it often, when i couldn't talk aobut something face-to-face.. and i'd often end the message with 'please don't call me back, just talk aobut this message in our next session, ok?'....
good luck to you dear, but please know that this happens to the best of us.. hope that helps ease your mind.. and distract yourself please!!!!!
poster:karen_kay
thread:364343
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/364375.html