Posted by littlep24 on June 18, 2004, at 12:37:13
In reply to Re: Depression is not a vacation » littlep24, posted by Poet on June 17, 2004, at 19:03:21
Poet,
As you have said it is energy that I don't have. I had a friend that worked with disabled people and she said the worst thing is when you "look normal" because people can not see your pain. If you have a a disability that is visible people are careful around you. It is so true they can't not tell how their actions will affect us.
I am also wondering how all these issues affect your marriage? I am struggling right now with should we get divorced? My husband has many moments where he understands but too many that he doesn't and he is emotionally abusive and sucks the little energy I have right out of me. This emotional abuse, him wanting to fix me so I become stable,I am stable but just not the person he wants me to be, has allowed me to lose my feelings for him. I am a very laid back, real person he is more interested in how others see us. I just want to feel like I fit in and am loved for who I am. He tells me he loves me for who I am but I just need a tune up, he doesn't understand my thinking and why I do things the way I do them. I feel like he is the one who would lose the love first because of my depression and not being the person he wants me to be but I am the one who has lost it and I feel guilty. Many people have told me you can get past this if you want to but I don't know if I have the energy to do it. I am really trying since we have two small children, however, I believe they would rather be in a broken home than in a home that there is no love between the parents. His trying to fix me causes me to have such resentment towards him, that I am worthless unless I do things the way he wants them done. I am talking about the littlest stuff doing the dishes etc. I think to myself don't sweat this small stuff you have bigger fish to fry but the small stuff is what sends me spiraling down to rock bottom.
poster:littlep24
thread:356101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/357828.html