Posted by 64bowtie on May 20, 2004, at 13:26:53
Seems like today is worse... I would point out that parents have toooo little time left for parenting when milk goes up by 30% last week here in California, and gas is $2.50 per gallon all of a sudden... Parents have to keep making more money and more money to keep all afloat...
Consider that yes, children behave when obligated to the rules laid down parents... And yes, children grow to be responsive and responsible adults when they connect the dots that their parents have their best interests at heart...
If parents are second generation "self-ish", drug-using criminals, surely this may not happen... What we are talking about though, is responsible parents who can't spend the time at home sharpening the kid skills, to be turned into adult skills for the kids. Its no-surprise that:
>These kids are terrible today and it all boils down to no Respect in the home. If they don't learn respect at home then how could they apply it any where else in there life.
These kids don't respect their parents so how could they respect their teachers, peers etc...
>
><<< I want only to cheer on your words... I also will add that respect happens between our ears, first... When we respect ourselves, we can practice on ourselves and others showing respect... We can't make the leap if we don't know what we are doing... We know how to respect others when and if we respect ourselves... Other ways of learning respect intellectually induced on people don't work soon afterward... Take prison, as a for-instance... No respect there...
Fear and obligation don't work well on adults... Replacing fear and obligation with adult responsibility and respect creates adulthood free of the pitfalls of obligation and fear...
note: in children, is a phenomenon that seen in adults is puzzling, since adults are able to reason complex solutions to problems that children can't grasp... Must be an un-mediated trait leftover from childhood...
Incidently, "fear-freezes-the-feet", is an ipulse reaction, not something learned, no matter how much it is encouraged by parents... Parents do strengthen the impulse by their encouragement... We must solve the puzzle ourselves of how to mediate this impulse with the use of "optional thinking", not available or useful to children...
I thank you for your clear response... Your adding "respect" was enjoyable to me... Together we are getting this word out...
Thanx again....
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:348883
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/348883.html