Posted by Sabina on April 30, 2004, at 11:31:22
In reply to Re: Thank you for posting that, posted by tabitha on April 30, 2004, at 0:02:25
yes, noa, thank you for posting that. it reminds me how far i've come in less than a year. i made a copy of gracie's post from the 25th of july and referred to it often during that difficult period for me, both emotionally and physically. most helpful, in particular, was her description of what it was like to finally find the right medication, giving me the hope that it was actually possible. blessedly, i did find my hope fulfilled with seroquel, just like gracie did, and now have peace of mind for the first time in my life.
"Hard to describe the reward...it's not like winning the jackpot or striking oil. It's more like - going home, when you always believed there was no home to go to."
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030718/msgs/243355.html
i wrote to her several times, but never got a reply and, i suppose, now i know the reason. at the time i thought it was because she had to get away from her husband and was "unplugged." i posted my concerns here but no one ever knew anything at that time or was able to say, in any case. i'm really upset about this. i didn't see it coming at all. i think i would have rather gone on pretending that she got away from him and started a new life and was either posting and helping people elsewhere, lurking here, or posting here under another name for safety's sake. i may just keep pretending that anyway!
i'm also torn between wanting to know what happened so i can finally be done with it and not wanting to know any more details...ever...at all. when you wonder about something *so* often and for *so* long, the feelings tear against themselves until you're hopelessly conflicted. you imagine the worst then you convince yourself of a fairy story ending all in one moment. i know, i'm veering off into grief redirect territory here, so i'll stop.
[btw, sorry to make you worry, tabitha. i mostly only lurk in on folks i know (like you!) and/or topics of interest (like that face experiment thing). i'm still around. i just don't post much. love, bina]
poster:Sabina
thread:341377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040430/msgs/341779.html