Posted by spoc on March 30, 2004, at 19:11:21
In reply to This is what gets to me though... (to all), posted by Karen_kay on March 30, 2004, at 17:43:57
> ...I think what's hurting me is that I didn't talk to them, the way I would have any other person in the world. I just didn't know what to say to make everything better, or normal, or happy. At the very least, what can I learn from this? (Perhaps I can rehearse lines for the next time?)
<<< This I hear you on. While it feels like little, when I say I "got used to" the panhandlers in my city, the one thing I never did and never will do is to degrade them by pretending they are not even there. I return their gaze and smile, and often say something in passing. Big whoop, huh. I'm not saying it's something I should be proud of, but I think it is true that these little signals from at least some (or hopefully many) of the passersby does help, in that the homeless person is at least not feeling universally shunned. People on this board talk about knowing their own limitations or trying to know them, and I let fears that I couldn't "be there" to be of further help -- and lack of faith that I could make a difference in a life at that point anyway -- stop me from going further in making conversation. Not a good excuse I'm sure. It does take angels to be committed to this, and thank God there are indeed some out there. Like you said, we all may need one someday. But maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself unless you are a professionally trained angel/volunteer, so that you know the ropes and boundaries better, including your own. Otherwise you may feel compelled to give of yourself exhaustively in all ways, and then burn out, which would serve no further purpose...
poster:spoc
thread:330003
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/330499.html