Posted by SandyWeb on March 29, 2004, at 19:45:44
In reply to Re: Sandy » Fallen4myT, posted by SandyWeb on March 29, 2004, at 19:21:58
Actually, I just realized that I lied to you. (Guess the BAD cop was right about me! Lol!). I did NOT have my chocolate coffee this morning. In fact, I just realized that all I had today was 6 small onion rings! That's it!! I've lost my appetite in the past week, and I don't even realize that I'm not eating. I should be nice and slim for either my survival or my death. *smile*
I'm scared to go to the hospital. I wouldn't know where to go, what to say. It sounds so self-absorbed to say, "I'm suicidal". What do they care? The cops certainly don't.
And then what? They smile patronizingly at me? Awkward silences? A sighing doctor? And then my self-important statements??
Why save me? I don't even pay taxes! Ha! And when the kids are gone, I'm left out on the street. I don't have a future....why save me then?
Darn stupid cop! He treated me exactly like a child. Or some inferior person. He knows nothing. He's nothing but a bully.
But what do I do if I ever need the police for something unrelated to this? My name comes up on the computer screen, and this guy starts with the unbelief?? And I get treated like trash again? He knows nothing about me. He does not know of any of the things I've been through or of the things I have done. He sees me as welfare trash. He's paying for me to have a nice apartment with nice furniture. He has the right to treat me any way he chooses. But he knows nothing. He may be older than me, but I think I've lived a much more varied life than he ever will. He goes from situation to situation....I've LIVED through periods of giving good and receiving bad. He doesn't know anything about me. Why treat me like he knows what a corrupt person I am?? I'm NOT. I'm a good person. But this good person gets tired when she gets knocked around too often. And all her dreams slip away.
Okay, I could ramble on even more....like you really want to hear this. And remember, I'm not supposed to do this!! Blah! I think only Dr. Bob can tell me to be quiet.
Do you want me to stop posting, Dr. Bob? Because if you do, I will go away and not bother anyone here again. If I'm nothing else, I *am* a woman of my word. I'll promise to leave, and I will. So just say the word, Dr. Bob, if you have any misgivings about me staying here. I'll understand.
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/330042.html