Posted by sfmom on January 26, 2004, at 22:56:13
In reply to Re: Saturday, posted by geri122 on January 26, 2004, at 16:25:56
> hello, it has been a while since i last wrote. Within this time, i have had a lot of time to think. I thought i was doing better. I thought that i was gaining control. Then all of a sudden things just changed. a fight with my dad, the thought of not wanting to live anymore. all those thoughts just started to flow it.
Hi Geri,
I too, was wondering how you've been doing. I'm sorry that I didn't write for a while, but was kind of caught up in my own mess.
I couldn't agree more with Lynne. It is completely understandable that a fight with your Dad would throw you off. With me it has always been my mom that I was never good enough for, so I really understand. I actually moved out of my parents' house and in with my best friend and her parents when I was 17 and finished up high school living with them. I don't know if it was the best move I've ever made because with all of my newfound freedom I started doing a lot of drugs and sleeping with idiots. Just another senario to keep in mind.
Have you been talking to your friend about things? You mentioned before having her come with you to see a counselor. I really think that's a great idea. We're so much more empowered when we have someone we know is on our side to back us up. (Or to give us a hug.)
When I read about your "freak out" at school, one of the reasons I couldn't respond was that it hit so close to home. Along with my depression, I used to have (before finding the right medication) panic attacks that were terrifying and and seemingly totally out of my control. The reason I started having these panic attacks was my body's way of telling me that I couldn't ignore my depression any longer. And belive me, I did just that for about two years with all the warning signs in place. The last thing I want to do is scare you more than you must already be, but our bodies have an amazing way of making us deal with the issues we need to, or of making us miserable if we don't. But through it all, I still firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and that we're not dealt anything we can't handle, even if it takes all of our strength. And once you get through it, and are able to look back at the difficult journey you've been through, you have the knowledge for the rest of your life that you have the strength to protect yourself, heal yourself, love yourself, and overcome whatever obsticles that life puts in your way.
The way you have been expressing yourself to us has been honest and true and we all would do whatever we could to help you. But if things are getting worse for you, and it sounds like they are, it might not be enough. We have so much faith in you and in your inner strength and know that when or if you seek professional help (with or without meds) that you can overcome this and come out the other side.
Please let us know what we can do to help you on this journey.
Love, Lyssa
poster:sfmom
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/305874.html