Posted by Karen_kay on January 11, 2004, at 17:19:37
In reply to Re: Dinah, don't make me call T » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on January 11, 2004, at 15:56:45
Dinah, I assure you I'm not always this blunt either. In "real life" I'm very passive-agressive towards some people (Ah, who, me?). Yes, it's true! I tend to pick my battles wisely but at other times I will sit and stew in my own BS. And others know that I'm very angry but I lie through clenched teeth and a smile and say, "Oh, heavens, I'm not mad. Would you like a cookie? Oh, it seems I've eaten them all." When in fact I have plenty, I'm just not giving them any! Or I'll promise someone something but if they make me angry before it comes "delivery time" I'll say I've given it away or hope they forget about it or come up with some other excuse to "punish them." Rather than just talk about things, I think they should know why I would be mad. And if they ask if I'm mad, I deny it. They should just apologize, hello! Somehow an apology wouldn't be enough either. They should fall at my feet and beg forgiveness. Yes, that would do nicely! :) And don't think that smiley face makes that statement a joke!
Anyway, your therapist deserved a lashing for that! I don't think I would have been able to bring it up quite so suddenly, I would have pulled the whole "stew in my anger for about 3 months and teach him-deal." But I'm glad you did. It made him realize that his request was hurtful. Maybe I could learn from your directiveness. It isn't that you aren't gentle, quite the contrary. It's just that his request seemed a bit extreme and you pointing it out made him realize it! Good job to you! If only we could all do that with consistency and accuracy!
poster:Karen_kay
thread:298569
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040109/msgs/299504.html