Posted by Lyrical13 on January 3, 2004, at 14:38:52
In reply to Re: mood disorders and adoption- lyrical, posted by judy1 on January 3, 2004, at 11:32:35
Thanks Judy
Actually, there are a few health reasons besides just the BP/depression. My husband is juvenile diabetic and I am hypoglycemic..pretty much guarantees us a kid with blood sugar problems, not that that's the end of the world but we really don't want to have to give shots to a toddler if we can help it. Also my husband is only 36 and has always taken very good care of himself and he's already had several surgeries for diabetic retinopathy (had sudden loss of vision in one eye, started with minor outpatient eye surgeries to deal with it then one eye hemorrhaged and he ended up having emergency surgery and having to lay face down or on his side for about 6 weeks so the retina could re-attach) wouldn't want our child to have to deal with long-term side effects of diabetes, etc. We also both have diabetes on both sides of our families....Also, my blood sugar has gotten increasingly more sensitive over the years...good possibility of gestational diabetes (my mom had it with at least one of her pregnancies) and possibly even permanently diabetic afterward (this has already happened with one of my aunts) Also have endometriosis and have 2 surgeries for that and ovarian cysts. They SAY pregnancy is a good temp cure for endo but the reality isn't always that way...my best friend had 2 very difficult pregnancies and she her preemie almost died (both are OK now) and now her endo is 10x worse. I know her situation isn't typical but it's still scary. I had toyed with going off meds for pregnancy but at this point adoption seems like the better option....For one thing..I'm 34, he's 36, not exactly spring chickens...still good age to parent...but I work at a school for kids with disabilities. Every single pregnant woman there is a basket case knowing what could go wrong...I'm already mid-30s...risk of Downs and birth defects increases with age plus I already have an anxiety problem....add baby anxiety on top of that..... Plus...hubby and I both have risk factors for infertility (endo, diabetes)..I absolutely HAVE to be on meds from Aug thru Jan. Hx of SEVERE depression for past 10 years. Then doc would want me off meds for a month before we started trying...would definitely want to be off meds for at least first trimester...so that leaves 2-3 month window for conception..... no pressure there!!!!!!
So anyway...adoption is really the best choice for us. I'm not going to give any more info than I have to, but the home study process is very extensive, detailed and nosy. We both have to have a physical, etc etc. (not to mention all financials, several interviews, letters of recommendation, criminal background check etc etc) Very intrusive process. Very stressful process. ON the one hand, I understand that they want to make sure we're going to be good parents, but on the other hand, biological parents don't have to go through all that! Maybe if they did, we wouldn't have some of the problems we have today with teen pregnancies, child abuse, child abandonment/neglect, etc. But I digress. None of the health info would be in the profile the birthparents choose us from but they would have access to ALL non-identifying info in our file...our home study info. So they could possibly get their hands on our health info. I guess if they were that far along in the decision process they would alreay really like us. Our home study info wouldn't be shown to every person who looked at our profile..just after someone picked us they have the right to look at it before they send their baby home with us.
Are your children all biological or did you adopt any? I know my husband and I would be great parents (though I have doubts when my depression is really bad..I can hardly take care of myself...I think"HOw on earth am I going to be able to take care of anyone else?"
But we've been getting better and better at catching the depression earlier and I feel like we're closer to the right combo of meds for me. This fall wasn't as bad as last year. Maybe next year will be even better. It would be such a miracle to get through that time of year and feel "normal". I can't even imagine what that would be like.
Well, anyway, thanks for your input and support. I appreciate it!
L13
poster:Lyrical13
thread:292663
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/296067.html