Posted by Emme on December 29, 2003, at 19:00:39
- no job
- no irons in the fire (have been to depressed over the last few months to rattle enough cages).
- gawd only knows how long it'll take to find something if I do get the search back underway.
- few clues about what I want to do
- Am signing up to be a sub. It won't pay enough.
- halfway through cobra
- savings rapidly disappearing and that will be that.
- still have non-functional days
- profoundly unmotivated even though things are getting tight and I need to get moving
- landlord is very nasty and wants to raise rent a huge amount
- apartments are hard to come by around here and I don't have an income to satisfy a potential landlord
- Had to dump the equivalent of a month's rent and utilities into my poor little honda. Will need additional routine repair in 3,000 miles.
- About to start my new calendar year $1,000 deductible on out-of-network mental health (in network would be $5000) I can ill afford it.
- My pdoc is wonderful. I can't afford her. She's out of network and I get almost nothing back. I don't want to have to change doctors but...
- Therapist is wonderful. I can't afford her after the new year either.
- I should move because of the high rent, but not sure where to go and it would be destabilizing at the moment.
- My dad is being sweet and is helping me some. But even still, my situation is getting precarious.
- Moving in with family members not an option.
- I saw all these things coming...and somehow I didn't get it together and I am deeply ashamed.Anyone who's read my "bad day" posts has seen most of this before. It's just reaching critical mass. Okay, it could be worse. No one is shooting at me. I don't have to support anyone but myself. But still. As I walk around, everything feels completely unreal and dreamlike. I keep hoping I'll wake up.
I feel backed into a corner and I think there is only one way out.
Emme
poster:Emme
thread:294449
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/294449.html