Posted by zenhussy on December 7, 2003, at 13:33:38
In reply to re: why I decided to remain among the living? » zenhussy, posted by 8 Miles on December 6, 2003, at 16:52:02
> Well, Zen,
> That's an interesting story, told very elequently.Thank you.
> I know what you mean about date setting, but I can not allow myself to think that way, because I have too many other people to worry about. Isn't that strange? We think about others more than ourselves, how it affects THEM, when we are thinking and ruminating about taking that last breath.
I wish I could be at the point where I could just say I won't think this way but my disease isn't under control enough to be fully confident of that yet.
The distortions of my illness would have me believe that my life is far less worthy (quite worthless in fact is how the shtick goes) than any of those around me. Sadly I buy into that and fall deeper into depression at times.
Fortunately I have many good people around me who remind me that I cannot base my existence upon meeting some financial earning potential or playing my role in the capitalistic consumerism gone mad in the USA.
>The problem with all of that: what's on the other side?
> 88,
I don't know what is on 'the other side'. I do know that from a scientific background I have a spiritual side and that is quite personal to me but the belief I continue to come up with is back to ashes and returned to the earth from whence I came. Old rock hounds like myself see humankind as a blip on the timeline of this planet. Sometimes that brings me comfort as in this too shall pass since we are merely a visiting moment in the geologic time frame of life. Other times I get very despondent when viewing my life in the context of whatever I do doesn't really matter in the greater scheme of things.
As for what that greater scheme is? Dunno.
Thanks for the food for thought.
zenhussy
poster:zenhussy
thread:281064
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/287435.html