Strange feelings after death of friend

Posted by NikkiT2 on November 3, 2003, at 16:53:48

A friend of mine died yesterday.. I know her through Borderline UK (the charity I do stuff for), and she was one of our most hard working volunteers. She suffered greatly from her BPD, and struggled through each day.
She was found dead yesterday by her ex husband. They are going to do an autopsy, but first indications are natural causes.. probably liver failure after years of paracetamol overdoses.
Its really affected me strangely. Its not sunk in I think.. no tears or anything yet (I'm sure they will come at the funeral though).. bbut so many questions.. like, did she realise she was about to die, and did that knowledge make her feel any different about life.
These questions feel so morbid, and not right.. but I know grief takes strange forms.. But still.. I feel very unsettled by it.
Death is so damned permanent. I hate permanency.. Why can't we be given one final chance to say something to someone and ask any final questions??
A shaken Nikki

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Strange feelings after death of friend NikkiT2 11/3/03
Re: Strange feelings after death of friend Ilene 11/3/03
Re: Strange feelings after death of friend Tabitha 11/3/03
Re: Strange feelings after death of friend wordwitch 11/3/03
Re: Strange feelings after death of friend » NikkiT2 Dinah 11/3/03
Re: Strange feelings after death of friend » NikkiT2 noa 11/4/03
And another... NikkiT2 11/4/03
Re: And another... » NikkiT2 fallsfall 11/4/03
Re: And another... » NikkiT2 Dinah 11/4/03
Re: And another... » NikkiT2 judy1 11/4/03
Re: And another... » NikkiT2 Liligoth 11/5/03

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