Posted by bookgurl99 on September 8, 2003, at 19:00:58
Hey all --
I went home over the weekend and was dismayed to discover that my younger sister's panic attacks have progressed to Agoraphobia with panic disorder. At the age of 26, she has moved away from her apartment with her boyfriend, job, and life a couple of hours away from our hometown and back in with our mom and dad because our hometown is now her only 'safe space.'
Her boyfriend is supportive, but hopes she gets well and moves home soon. I hope she does too, for the sake of their relationship.
I'm realizing that the agoraphobia may have been around for a while, but for some reason -- probably because her boyfriend was gone for several months due to work and she moved home at the time -- her 'safe space' shifted from her adult life to our hometown.
I am really dismayed, because I feel that my parents should not be allowing my sister to stay with them rent-free and not work. I feel that they're enabling her to continue in the illness, not face up to her phobias and doubts and overcome them. Plus, my mother can be an abusive, negative person, one of those discompassionate people who can make you feel that you're more disabled than you are if you even _admit_ to having any anxiety.
I'm also upset at my sister, because I feel like she should also be choosing to fight this. I know what it is to feel compelled to do something, having gone through a bout of OCD for 6 months a few years ago. I also know what it is to have panic attacks -- and I don't identify with them or try to avoid situations that could trigger them; I just ride them out. I wish that she could/would do the same.
I guess I'm afraid because we have an older aunt who's had similar habits, whose life has been narrowly limited by agoraphobia. I don't want to see my sister go through the same thing.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I want to 'help' my sister, though right now I feel that my anger/upset/emotional thoughts about the situation mean that I shouldn't talk with her about it, unless she wants to. I guess I just wished that she wanted to change, and she doesn't seem to want to -- she wants everyone else (boyfriend, family, etc.) to adapt to her illness, instead of overcoming it.
poster:bookgurl99
thread:258182
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/258182.html