Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2003, at 15:09:19
In reply to Re: Anyone know of a support site for spouses? » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on August 8, 2003, at 13:03:22
Chuckle. I think I didn't convey exactly what he said. What he said was yes, I was a burden, yes I made his life more difficult, and yes I hurt him (by sleeping all the time, by being unhappy, by getting upset so often, by closet rocking, by my now occasional self injury, by my inability to adequately fulfil my household duties). And that yes, when my son was older, my behavior would hurt him as well. But that by the Ann Landers test, for all the negatives I bring, I still balance off that they're better off with me than without me. In other words, he doesn't want me to kill myself or run away from home.
So yes, he does admit to seeing me as a burden.
As to support, maybe he wants it, more likely he's ashamed to get it. But I know I've found that having a place where people understood what I've experienced (here, actually) was helpful to me in a lot of ways. I'd like him to be able to avail himself of such a place for him. I don't know that he will, but he certainly didn't reject the notion and, in fact, made a note of the NAMI site. Maybe I do want to make myself feel less guilty though.
And you're always free to tell me anything, Fallsfall. You've proved your friendship over and over and I trust you not to hurt me. Once I trust someone, it takes a lot to shake that trust. You'd have to hit me over the head with a two by four or something. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:249244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/249364.html