Posted by Sabina on July 25, 2003, at 0:18:53
well, not *that* graphic, but i wanted to give fair warning to anyone who might not be strong enough to read something really (self) hateful or negative at the moment.
what with the plan i have now, i won't be found soon. it will be hot, as it is in the summer y'know, so it will be a mess by the time someone gets there to find my pathetic, melting remains.
it's funny that, even in my most desperate plans and moments, i put the position of the finder (not to mention the resale value on my car) first. when do i come first, ever? anyway, i've definitely decided to wait until it's cold weather.
i'm sure that my therapist and pdoc will be pleased to hear that. i'm sure they both lay awake at night, worrying about my absent sense of self. at least it gives me some more time to see if things might improve and also make further, cleaner plans for the alternative.
i apologize for making this post. i don't normally admit things like this, even to myself. i'm just wailing in the dark here a bit, i suppose.
sorry again.
still sorry.
if this makes you angry at me for posting something triggering, then please don't come down too hard on me right this minute? wait until later to fuss at me, because i can't take anymore meanness tongiht.
poster:Sabina
thread:245073
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/245073.html