Posted by Dinah on July 12, 2003, at 11:47:54
Is productivity the measure of the best course of treatment?
I was unproductive on SSRI's. I slept a whole lot. I felt stupid, and that self-perception was confirmed by others.
I can't take atypical antipsychotics on a long term basis because of my diabetes. My pdoc has said that all of them cause weight gain that I just can't afford health-wise.
I'm not terribly productive now either, on a regimen of therapy and minimal medication. I've got no bottom at all. Things upset me way beyond what is reasonable. I sleep a lot to forget.
There were other things I didn't like about medications. I didn't like my apathy towards things that were important in my life.
But I have to think that my only consideration in deciding the proper course of action is productivity. What keeps me most able to work, most able to function.
And I'm having trouble evaluating that. I just haven't been a productive person for so long, with or without medication. I feel like a worthless waste of space. A lot of space. I keep thinking that I could do better if I just try harder. Yet somehow I can't seem to manage to try hard enough. Am I just plain lazy?
I need to DO more. I need to hold up my obligations better. But I'm at a loss as to how to best do that.
poster:Dinah
thread:241167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/241167.html