Posted by kara lynne on June 15, 2003, at 0:04:42
In reply to How would YOU feel??, posted by tina on June 13, 2003, at 20:23:11
Hi Tina,
I have a brother who has always managed to step all over me, while making me look I'm the one who's at fault for noticing. He couldn't understand why it was a problem to invite my ex-boyfriend to his housewarming party (he knew I wouldn't come if he did, and I was still hurting from the relationship). He just thought I should be over it. But boy it sure matters when *he's* hurt, and I used to listen to it all the time.He turned the other way when the same guy was being really abusive to me right under his nose when we were all staying on a houseboat together (joyful memory).
Then a few weeks before one of the most stressful events in my life was coming up not long age, he told me this ex-boyfriend was expecting his second child. He knows I will obsess about those things, and telling me that has (I'm ashamed to admit) consumed my thoughts since then. Why didn't I move on, get married, have kids, etc. etc. etc. I just didn't need to hear that, especially then.
Last year I got an email from someone I didn't know, who said she got my email address from my brother. She was conducting a survey on women over 40 who never married or had children. Needless to say I didn't respond, but *what* sensitivity my dear old brother has, huh? Not to mention that if I ever look at him wrong it's unforgiveable by him or the rest of my family.
Maybe it's a male child thing, I don't know. I'm sorry for rambling, but I've spent years trying to deal with the rage and hurt I feel around these issues with my brother.
And what you're going through tops them all. I'm sorry you have to go through it.
poster:kara lynne
thread:233800
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/234073.html