Posted by Giget on June 13, 2003, at 9:35:26
Goddess I am rambling.... Sorry everyone!
About a month ago, I found this website, and what a difference it has made.
I have been diagonised with SAD, Depression, Clinical Depression, Bi-polar and for now Clinical Depression for a HSP... So many doctors give me different diagonsis, and they believe the last doctor misstook my problems for something else.
I have been on Prozac for years, Zeprexia which caused me to gain 80 pounds in 3 months, Efforxor which I had every side effect, and now Wellbrutin.
I have been depressed most of my life, but it has gotten so bad lately. Luckily I found a wonderful theripist on what would have been my last day here, and he helped pull me out. We think that the depression is part surcumstancal and clinical.
In the past year:
1. Graduated college
2. Live alone in a new apt, with my 2 cats
3. Started my career job
4. Broke off a 5 year relationship with my ex, which caused me great pain, they were my world
5. Work with my ex everyday
6. Gained 80 pounds from medication
7. Dad diagonised with colon cancer
8. Dad surgery
9. Doctors found endrometrosis in me and had surgery to remove it
10. Doctors found pre cancerous cervial cells in me and had biospy. Will continue to watch for changes in themI guess I have never written down all the junk going on... No wonder I am completly depressed. I was forced to take mental leave from work, because I was lacking. Past sucidal thought and actions on them, self medication with alch.
I have been getting better with the help of the theripst, but I feel like I am relapsing recently. This is my first week back at work in 3 weeks, spent some time with me ex, who used me and does not see anything wrong with it, so it has been stressful. I just isolate alot and that is not healthly.
I have worked so hard to make it to this point in my life, with sucess in life, work, spiritual. I can not believe it is all falling apart.
This is not a cry for help, or for pity. This is my life and I have to deal with it... I have been dealing with this illness since I was younge.
My I am rambling, but I just wanted to let you know what I have gone through, what type of person I am so you can maybe understand my posts. I just sorta jumped into posting without telling you anything about myself....
Thanks for listening!
poster:Giget
thread:233661
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/233661.html