Posted by whiterabbit on June 8, 2003, at 14:12:43
In reply to Re: For a minute I got excited » whiterabbit, posted by wendy b. on June 7, 2003, at 22:51:11
Thanks Wendy, I enjoy reading the posts here from ya'll and it's SUCH a relief to be honest with people who understand. I chased away most of my friends during the years that I was so depressed and screwed up (I didn't want to talk to ANYBODY by the time I got home from work, I was just so
peopled-out) and the few friends I have left now,
I just try to hang out with them and have a little fun, I don't really discuss my mental state to any degree. And my soon-to-be-ex-husband,
he quit caring a long time ago. I'd try to talk about it but his eyes would just glaze over, so I quit talking.Anyway. Sometimes - not so much anymore but sometimes - I start to panic. I start thinking like, "My God, I have to take care of my own car now, I don't know anything about cars! Will I be safe in my own place? I probably won't be safe, a woman living alone is a target is this city! And I'll be lonely, I'll probably just dissolve from loneliness. I can't even balance my checkbook, I'll be out on the street in no time..."
I'm getting a little better at stopping myself...
"Gracie SHUT UP. Turn that off right now. Think of something useful instead of scaring yourself,
why don't you." Like furniture. And clothes!As long as I'm on this outwiththeoldinwiththenew
kick, I might as well include my wardrobe. I'm sure I can weed out bags of stuff that I almost never wear. Man wouldn't it be great to replace it all with an Eileen Fisher Essentials
collection? I imagine I would have a lot less "fat days" - you know, when you're trying to get dressed in the morning and you start to get frantic because everything makes you look huge.I went ahead and ordered a catalog from her website, maybe she has sales. Of course, you would still be paying $90 for a tee-shirt, and I don't do ironing (another reason I don't wear collars - besides the fact that I don't like clothing around my neck. And turtlenecks - ack!).
Oh well, maybe when I get my life on track I can start saving up for Eileen Fisher. (I'm looking at the ad again...sigh. What great colors!) It just makes me think that in these clothes, you would always look pulled-together and very cool in an artsy sort of way. If I ever wanted to "project an image" of myself, I guess that would be it!
Okay...that's better. That's a much more productive way to think rather than dwelling on my impending doom as a single woman.
Smiling bravely -
Gracie
poster:whiterabbit
thread:231797
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/232417.html