Posted by fallsfall on June 6, 2003, at 19:47:24
In reply to UPDATE (long), posted by mmcasey on June 6, 2003, at 12:17:03
> Hi everyone... Well, I don't really know if anyone has noticed my absence over the past month or so (and that isn't meant as some sort of self-pitying guilt trip as more of just a statement of fact, at least I don't think so!).
>I remember responding to a post or 2 of yours. I would have noticed that you were missing, but my brain doesn't work very well these days. I'm glad to have you back.
>
> My therapist of 6 months who was a student graduated a few weeks ago, and I am therefore no longer seeing her... which has been INCREDIBLY (and I can't emphasize this enough!) hard for me to deal with, almost unbearable. I am seeing someone new, someone older and more experienced, but it is the beginning and of course I just don't
> feel yet like I can rely on her and all that. Besides, it doesn't matter because I still miss my old therapist so much and I think that I always will.I told my therapist on Tuesday that I was going to go to someone else. She said I could see her until I get a new one - but I miss her already.
Looking for a new therapist is no fun!! I don't do short therapy, so it is a long term commitment (my last was 8 1/2 years). And it seems so important.
I also have a psychiatrist who I really like (this is a first for me, to actually LIKE my psychiatrist instead of just tolerate them out of necessity). But both he and my therapist are away this weekend, which leaves me at times feeling very alone!! Also, my roomates are away, one of them is cat sitting and the other is gone for 3 weeks. There is a strange ironic-ness to how I feel about that, because most of the time I don't
> really like having them around, not because I don't like them or anything, but they just don't know me very well and know about my very deep problems, and I find that it is just too much for me much of the time to have to deal with them being around. I don't really feel totally comfortable with them either. The ironic thing, though, is that since they aren't around, I feel a bit lonely or something, like no one would even notice if I just didn't come home kind of thing. I find it sad to think that I'm alone in the house and to come home and it's all dark and quiet.You have a lot of changes going on: new therapist, no boyfriend, roommates moving out. That's a lot. Do you have some other friends who can keep things stable for you? We're here. So if you are lonely you can post.
>
> I'm taking my GRE in a week from today.Good Luck!!!!!
>
if I were to kill myself, I'll never get the chance to know if my life can ever be better.This is one of the best reasons I've seen for staying alive.
>
> Also, I'm afraid of my depression basically ruining my life and my chosen career path. I am planning to go to graduate school for social work, and I basically feel like what if I can't do it? Like I am not emotionally stable enough to possibly be able to help others the way that I want to. I am also terrified of not even getting into the school that I want to go to, which is actually where I work now, but in the medical school, in psychiatry research.They call this "Fortune Telling" (it is one of the Cognitive Distortions). None of this has happened. You have no reason (that I know of) to know that this will happen.
>
> I am hoping that I can get through this weekend okay without going down again, which probably won't happen, but let's just hope.Well, I'll hope for you. If it gets bad, watch a movie or go for a walk or do something that will distract you. Your roomies will be back before you know it.
poster:fallsfall
thread:231910
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/232007.html