Posted by leeran on April 28, 2003, at 10:53:37
In reply to Re: I wonder.... Mair and » Cecilia, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2003, at 9:53:06
I had a situation with a babysitter when I was young. It never hit me until I told my husband about it a few years ago (I had never told anyone about it until then) that it might be abusive in nature. I really hadn't thought of it again until I read another post here the other day.
What made it not seem abusive was the fact that the babysitter was four years older and was a close friend of mine since I was two and moved into the neighborhood. Even though she had a younger sister who was only a year older than me, I was much closer to the oldest sister (in fact, I was even an attendant in her wedding years later).
When I got to that weird age of being too young to stay at home alone, but almost out of the babysitter stage, my mother hired her to "babysit" one evening.
Something happened, at her insistence (nothing horrid, but still enough to feel guilty about) - but since she was older and a friend who I had always been eager to please, I was more compliant than I might have been otherwise.
It was my husband who pointed out that it was sexual abuse, although I had never viewed it like that. I know how I felt about it, which was incredibly guilty, but I had never put that label on it. It was just one of those incidents I filed under "G" for guilty.
We remained friends for years and it was never spoken of again.
I wonder if that incident contributed to the intense feelings of guilt I used to have after an orgasm? That's a rhetorical question that just came to mind as I wrote this.
poster:leeran
thread:221574
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/222896.html