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Re: I'm depressed. » Pfinstegg

Posted by Dinah on April 5, 2003, at 20:04:23

In reply to Re: I'm depressed. » Dinah, posted by Pfinstegg on April 5, 2003, at 14:06:29

I couldn't possibly be offended or angry at such a kind and flattering post. :)

You've got me pegged. Vulnerable to minimal stressors sums me up.

My therapist does have that as his goal, I think. His overall plan is something along reparenting lines I believe. And I do feel safe in his presence. I see the safety of therapy as what helps me tackle the lack of safety elsewhere. But I just can't seem to make the leap to carrying that safety with me.

It's kind of funny really. I tend to personify things. I personified happiness in the form of a darling little dog I had many years ago. She was my happiness. And when she died, to some extent my happiness died with her. And I've personified safety in the form of my therapist. It exasperates him to some extent for the obvious reasons. But he also feels it's a function of the emotional age I function at (along with magical thinking and a heck of a lot of other things too), and his goal is to help me move past that stage of functioning. And the amazing thing is that I don't get offended at this assessment.

But I also have to concede that there is probably a large biological component to the whole thing. The cycles, including meltdowns, are too predictable in length and order of appearance for me to think that it's totally psychological.

Even if another therapist were able to help me more though, it wouldn't matter. He's my harbor, my safety, the mother dog to my blind pup. I couldn't leave him to save my life.

 

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