Posted by lostsailor on April 3, 2003, at 19:28:08
In reply to Physical abuse » sienna, posted by WorryGirl on April 3, 2003, at 17:31:32
Hi there...
Me again. After we wrote back and forth earlier today, I decided to confront one of my "demons."I called one of my ex-employers at an agency called Parent Anonymous. I read your description to her, after she gotten done complaining about my rapid departure (I was looking into an abuse allegation in a crack house and was picked up, thrown against the wall, threatened, tossed down a flight of stairs only to be continually hit with rocks that were picking up and throwing at me while I ran for my car. I went home, filled out my assessment paperwork for the child's well being, dropped it of the next day and refused to ever step foot in the agency again--they now send at least two workers to most homes.
When that was done, Linda, my former supervisor said, something that I hadn't herd in years since she was the one who told me: "if it looks like fish and smells like fish (like something looking 'fishy' it's PROBABLY a fish." I told you my saying was: if I can see it, I need to look into it more.
One poster asked along the line if he were drunk: being DRUNK IS NOT AN EXCUSE!!!!!! I could chant that for hours. IF you are drunk and you rape someone, you still committed the act of rape and so on… Often things happen fast b/c someone does something without thinking and sometimes this is referred to as a "crime of passion" and special circumstance at times are made in courts, but what you describe was an ongoing pattern, not a one time thing... and if he were drunk it still WOULD NOT make a difference.
I think it is great that you can still look at him with admiration, as it shows your ability to forgive.
The main point I want you to remember is that IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT, he was an adult and seems to have been more then strict, he was most likely, in legal terms, an abusive parent.
In the future remember two things for me: 1) It was not my fault and; 2) a saying that existed in NY for a long time--believe the children, meaning if they say it, look into it as they are most often not lying for attention but honestly screaming out for help as best they can.
Bless you, Sienna
~tony
poster:lostsailor
thread:215787
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030401/msgs/215972.html