Posted by Dinah on January 28, 2003, at 16:48:41
In reply to Fickle therapists, posted by Eddie Sylvano on January 28, 2003, at 10:04:23
I think a lot of our fears are more metaphorical than actual, although therapists do refer out patients that they don't feel competent to treat. And there are some things that make some therapists feel uncomfortable, and I guess we're afraid they'll feel so uncomfortable that they would feel like they would better serve us to refer us out. There are some therapists who prefer to work with people who are not terribly troubled, and find it difficult to work with, for example, suicidal patients or self injuring patients. So a lot of times we feel things out a bit at a time, to see how comfortable a therapist seems with some information before giving out more.
I worked with a pdoc who was clearly uncomfortable with my self injury and was terribly frustrated that he couldn't medicate it out of me. When I didn't respond appropriately to his meds, he pretty much provoked me into quitting. I can't believe it wasn't deliberate. Needless to say, I did much better once I was away from him.
But I think a lot of our fears have more to do with our therapists being disgusted by us, and rejecting us in other ways than leaving us. Those of us with abandonment issues can see abandonment in just about anything.
How do I see my therapist? Does he see me as a person that he truly wants to help? Does he see me as a walking dollar sign that he'll put up with to pay the bills? Who knows. A bit of both I guess. How much of each probably shifts from week to week. But is that so unusual? Are those of us in the service industry always eager to serve all our clients? Are we happier serving some than others? As long as my therapist does his job with reasonable competence, professionalism, and consistency, I'm happy enough with him. He doesn't have to like me, although it helps if he doesn't dislike me enough for it to show.
poster:Dinah
thread:35870
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030120/msgs/35882.html