Posted by Ginjoint on January 11, 2003, at 13:12:17
In reply to Speaking of sudden downturns, posted by Dinah on January 11, 2003, at 10:08:39
Hey Dinah...
What a rotten, lousy, craptacular night. But you handled it so well with the visualization idea! In the quiet of all the darkness, you pulled it together and stayed on top of it. As a cutter and an insomniac, I have an idea of just how much will power that took. I'm glad that this morning you didn't have to look at cuts on yourself, and I hope you are too.
In regards to tying your hands...I think your husband's anger was a manifestation of being just plain unnerved. The idea of tying his wife's hands might have been a bit too severe -- you know, I think that sometimes what seems O.K. to us to get us through the really bad times probably strikes the "normals" ;) as somewhat bizarre. You and I know that having your hands tied would have made you feel comforted and safe and snug, but of course the image of tied hands can bring up very different emotions in someone who's not where you're at. You're aware of this, obviously, but that doesn't help you get through the night.
One thing I have done that helps is to roll myself in a blanket. TIGHTLY. Yeah, it sounds funny, but feeling that snugness all over my body, with my hands pressed against myself, makes me feel like I'm being held and even restrained (not harshly, not in a panicked way, but firmly), which in turn helps me feel safer. Your hands don't have to be at your sides -- they can be mushed against your chest or wrapped around your waist or whatever. I like my left hand in front of my left shoulder and right against right. I know this sounds odd, but maybe it can help soothe you during the really nasty times. You already have enough to deal with -- you don't need to look at scars on your body too.
One other thing...it makes me very angry how your parents are pulling these passive aggressive moves with you. They are taking advantage of your obviously very generous nature, and it ticks me off! Grrrrrr! But I know that I already wrote about them in response to another post of yours a while back, so I'll shut up about it. Please continue to have the strength to stick to your guns with them, Dinah. Your well-being matters way more than any skewed ideas of pride that they may have...I don't know you, but I do care about you.
Ginjoint
poster:Ginjoint
thread:35045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35052.html