Posted by mikhail99 on December 23, 2002, at 7:52:03
In reply to Threading, posted by Miller on December 22, 2002, at 20:30:19
> So, I have been thinking a lot about this site as well as others similar. I keep wondering why I am so drawn to a place like this. On one hand, I feel as if I am a five-year-old in the middle of a teenage gang. You know the feeling; a little uncomfortable, wanting to impress, doubting my abilities, etc. Yet, I also feel the need to get feedback from other people who I think may know more than I.
I DO know those feelings, when I post, I must sit here for 10-15 minutes, trying to be careful, yet still helpful with whatever it is I'm trying to say. You don't want to open yourself up to anyone's anger but you still want to help so much.
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> I was thinking that it is really hard to tell, without actual words, the perception people are getting from me. The people on this board that I think don't like me, am I being paranoid? Are there people that I have hurt? Do some of this community think I am really bad news? Am I being avoided and ignored because of my lack of communication skills?I think that most of the time, we can't worry too much about people's perceptions on this board. Don't we all spend too much time worrying about that in our day to day interactions? I know I do and I get so tired of it. And I don't think anyone here thinks you're bad news, you communicate very well.
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> I think that to start or to respond to a post takes so much courage. We know what happens if people are in disagreement. But when an opinion is formed, is it possible to change it on a forum such as this?
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> I responded to a post earlier that made think about how I act and react to posts. I do feel so close to others that express emotional pain. I know they may be like me and continually check the board for responses in an attempt to find the cure to their misery.I'm ALWAYS checking on responses on these sites...I think I'm becoming quite dependent on them!
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> I am disappointed with myself for not being able to help others as they need to be. Yet, I know that when I am sad and alone, I want to have something to hold on to. It could be anger, hope, humor, or any other emotion that will alleviate the pain for even a little bit. Why is it that when I try to send the things I think I would need, it doesn't help anyone? How can I backtrack and get people to know that I am not evil, mean, or hurtful?
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> Thanks to anyone who has read this post. There is no need to reply. Most of this is rambling and retorical.
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> To all that are hurting: I hope you find peace. If there is something you want, or need, to feel better, please ask.
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> -Miller
>Miller, I personally think that if you're coming from a place that is helpful and compassionate, it's pretty hard to be perceived as evil or hurtful. As far as I can see (I'm still kind of new around here) you're always trying (and succeeding) to be helpful and compassionate. Don't be so hard on yourself about posting here, like I said earlier, most of us here are already too hard on ourselves about our relationships and work. This is a place to pass on our experiences and advice and hope for the best. It's good for us to put ourselves "out there" too to learn that we can interact normally and we can be helpful to others.
Well, I started blathering again... :-) I hope that you found a nugget of something helpful in here. Take care of yourself!!!
poster:mikhail99
thread:33767
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021218/msgs/33802.html