Posted by jane d on November 28, 2002, at 9:40:54
In reply to pity party--shar, mostly, posted by BeardedLady on November 27, 2002, at 11:31:46
> The baggage we carry influences a lot of how we feel about everything, including language. But I wish you would have stated your dislike of that phrase with less judgment. Saying it should be banned, rather than saying you hate it, makes it seem as though you believe the persons saying it have done something wrong.
>
> They haven't. They've simply used a phrase that they perhaps see differently from the way you see it.BeardedLady,
I agree. I think you may have read into the word
"banned" something very different from what was meant, perhaps because of the various discussions of censorship on the board. Saying that such and such phrase "should be banned" is just a way of implying both distaste and that the phrase is used way too much. I think this is how most people understand it (at least here - France may be a different matter).BTW I never heard "pity party" until I came to this board. I judged it only by the contexts in which it was used here and it bothered me from the start. I had wondered if it was a regional expression so it's nice to learn about it's 12 step history. I can see that said in a specific tone between people who know each other it might be quite ok. There are a few people who could say that to me but they are people who know me well enough to know when not to say it too.
Jane, who will remember from now on that the term may mean something warm, fuzzy and supportive to the person using it even as she flinches reflexively.
poster:jane d
thread:32711
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021120/msgs/32800.html