Posted by Ritch on October 10, 2002, at 0:08:23
In reply to Wondering about Ups and Downs, posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 11:58:47
> My dx is dysthymia, and I have bouts of severe depression also (some people call that double depression, I think), however.....
>
> If I find myself in a situation (let's say my therapy group, one of the few places I go), where people are funny I thoroughly enjoy a good laugh even tho an hour ago I might have been at home and suicidal. That can happen on the phone with friends, too, and then when it's all over, and I'm back at home, the depression etc. creeps back.
>
> This rarely happens at my parttime job, I tend to do more crying than laughing there (but never in front of customers! I hold it til my 15 minute break). But, even there, if someone makes a good joke I laugh and enjoy it.
>
> So, it seems my mood can be affected short-term by external stuff, but I never had days (or even one day) of feeling good like that.
>
> Anybody know what that is? Is that cyclothymia?
>
> Thanks,
> Shar
Shar,That sounds like me in my late teens/early twenties. It could be a rapid-cycling variant of bipolar of some kind. I also used to be hyper-reactive to my environment. Until I tried anticonvulsant antimanic agents, that problem hung around. There were times when I was working when I felt like I would have to leave because I couldn't control my impulse to cry about something. I would just feel this sudden DOWN, DOWN, DOWN pull which I couldn't control. I just WANTED TO DIE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AT THAT MOMENT. Of course, that feeling did change given a little time (a couple of hours, i.e.). But, that feeling of being drawn into a Black Hole didn't go away without the right meds. Also, during seasonal bipolar depressions, I noticed that people or events could make me temporarily "snap-out" of the depression and feel better, but there was this elasticity of sorts that snapped me right back into it.
Mitch
poster:Ritch
thread:30869
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020924/msgs/30997.html