Posted by Roo on August 29, 2002, at 9:13:19
In reply to More ramblings, posted by Greg A. on August 27, 2002, at 14:09:12
I just feel
lost in the sense of something that gives
purpose and meaning to my life. Surely I am
not here to mechanically perform chores, go to work, drive kids
around and so on. Where did the pleasure go?
Where did the anticipation of another day go?
I do not dread each day so much as I see another
series of tasks to get through.
How long have you felt like this?
> I feel like I am useless at my job . . . though I am not.
> I feel a failure as a father . . . though I am not.
> I worry that friends and colleagues have no respect for me . . . but I have little for myself
> I am indifferent and irritable toward my wife . . . who does more to help me than anyone.
> I desperately crave things I think will make me happy . . . though I know they won’t.
> I often think of suicide as an escape from fear . . . but I am too frightened to do it.
> Do I qualify as pathetic?
No, you don't qualify as pathetic....just in pain, that's all. I wish I
could help somehow...and like you say, it's just the disease talking...
Doesn't make it any less painful though...I've never thought you've come across as a pathetic person on
this board....you always seem compassionate with others...Have you ever thought about ECT...since the meds never work (I have).
How are you today?
>
poster:Roo
thread:29367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020829/msgs/29513.html