Posted by Phil on August 25, 2002, at 19:31:29
In reply to maybe this should be on psycho-psycho - ?, posted by Medusa on August 25, 2002, at 12:48:26
Sexual abuse towards women, especially minors, really makes me mad. I'm not talking kind of pissed off; I would have beat that guy to death if I was in the family. I'm not violent
but like I say..don't abuse kids.
What are your sisters feelings about this? Has she been to therapy? Is she acting out in negative ways? Would she go to a few sessions with you if you thought it would help you? How angry is she?
Is there any way to bring charges against him at this point? If I had a chance to throw him in prison for a few years, I would do it. They really don't like child molesters at all and they'll take payback and he will know the fear and powerlessness he made your sister feel.
I know you've been through this in therapy but would you have stopped him if you knew it was happening? I think you would have died to protect her.
This is a sick person you were dealing with. No matter what you two went through. What kind of a guy molests a sister to make a point? If he has kids now, I wonder what they are living through.You need a therapist that knows this territory.
Please keep working until you realize that it wasn't your fault and that your anger and shame is only hurting you. It's all you can do.
John Bradshaw's book, Healing the Shame That Binds You, might be a book for you to read.I was very codependent with my mother who was an alcoholic beginning early in my life. Her disease was progressing. I was the youngest kid by eight years so I had one on one experience with this insanity way too early.
Somewhere inside of me, I've believed that her drinking was my fault. I'm 49 now, never even very close to marriage, not good at seeing to my own needs, I learned to be concerned about others while at the same time, never knowing how to get my needs met.
My mother was never my responsibility but, really, she was. It's hard to get beyond this; for some, it will never really be over. All we can do is keep trying.
How would you say your and your sisters relationship is now?Phil
poster:Phil
thread:29250
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020820/msgs/29267.html