Posted by lili80 on August 12, 2002, at 19:44:20
In reply to still suicidal , posted by lili80 on August 12, 2002, at 19:24:29
its like now i know its right. dying i mean. like its so the answer that why am i still here. i know it. i live it. its like i look at idiots who think suicide will make everyone sad and attempt for others. i attempt for myself, that is the scary thing. i do it for me, for my own death. no delusions about afterlife being better. just want it all to end , to stop, to be over. suicide really is about just wanting everything to stop. i think we are at the same place. i am at the edge of the cliff. i researched how to fall. i know what works and what doesn't. i dont really want to die, but i have the i have to attitude. i dont really want it to go away, cause i still want to leap off the cliff. i am not hanging on I have already jumped, i am in the air still, i can still reach out, but i dont really want to. silence is what scares me, i dont really reach out anymore, i am at the point where a suicide note makes no difference, my death is about me, i picture myself just saying my peace, and then letting myself fall off that cliff. ok i shoulda post this on my own strand , i think i will, i dont oppose suicide. but it should be one person's decision, and no one elses, dont do it for someone else, i am at the place where death is the answer. I dont look down at the ground past that cliff, i look up ; i look up cause its the only thing that makes me cry with happiness in my mind.
poster:lili80
thread:28495
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020804/msgs/28497.html