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Re: Social life and depression etc, IRL

Posted by .tabi.T.ha. on August 9, 2002, at 6:03:10

In reply to Social life and depression etc, IRL, posted by Medusa on August 9, 2002, at 5:16:11

Hi there Medusa,

Social life has always been a problem for me. It's hard to separate the causes, depression is one, and upbringing is another, and my personality is introverted even when not depressed, which makes it more difficult to find kindred spirits.

In the years before diagnosis, meds, etc, I hobbled along with zero or one friend at a time, always craving more but not knowing how to make the connections happen. My chosen few were also depressive. It was just too hard to relate to the normies. Then as I transitioned to someone with depression managed by medication, I fell apart from my old depressive buddies. Some blatantly disapproved of my taking meds, others I just didn't connect with anymore in my new chemically altered state.

Through lots of therapy I've learned to connect with people better. When my depression is at manageable levels I can enjoy a little "shallow" socializing, which used to just bewilder me. I still struggle to find really good friends, as I'm nearing 40, and it seems most people my age tend to put their spouses and children way ahead of friends in importance. Plus, people tend to move a lot these days. I've lost many friends over the years just to geographic moves.

The other obstacle is that I'm pretty content to be alone, most of the time. That's a mixed blessing, since I don't get motivated to get out and meet people when I'm feeling OK.

That's my 2c.

 

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