Posted by Roo on May 14, 2002, at 12:45:53
In reply to Re: Hope this isn't inappropriate--Manda » Roo, posted by Manda on May 14, 2002, at 10:58:55
> Sorry I didn't make it clear- what I meant to
say was do you think that perhaps you are so
caught up in trying to be the perfect lover
because you are experiencing a lack of libido (or
b/c you have in the past)? Anyway, thought I'd
clear that up. I wasn't implying that you were
inexperienced, just that you might be focusing
on being a "femme fatale" b/c you were compensating
for not being as into it as he was. Just a thought.Yes, I think you're right--that's definitely part of it...
I also feel like "well if i'm not going to experience any
pleasure, so he might as well" and totally focus on his
pleasure, b/c my sensation is so dull. Talk about sad. It
really makes me sad. I used to genuinely love sex. I think
I am overcompensating for the fact that I really don't feel
responsive and it makes me feel inadequate as a lover, and I'm
afraid he'll get bored and leave if I'm not a knockout in the
sack...
>>
> Yeah, we really do have a wonderful relationship
. We're completely in love with each other,
and each of us would do absolutely anything for
the other. The physical side of the relationship
is the only thinking lacking in any way,
so I think we're really, really lucky.
I don't really have any complaints about him.
I don't really care so much about the physical
intimacy- it's more that everyone else seems to
think that this is evidence of a much bigger
problem in our relationship. However, I honestly
don't think it is. I think we're just different
in our needs, wants, and priorities than most
couples our age. I just don't want our
relationship to fall apart because of this
(and I don't think it will), and, at some point,
I would really like to move beyond this and
express our love for each other in different ways.
However, like I said, it's really not so much
of a problem as everyone else seems to think. :)
I guess I should just stop listening to my
friends and listen to my heart. Anyway, good luck to
you. Take care!Thanks Manda. Sounds like you've got a great boyfriend
and a great relationship. You have all the ingredients
for being able to work things through on this issue...especially
since the physical attraction is there, along with the genuine caring.
> Pax,
> Manda
poster:Roo
thread:23644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020509/msgs/23758.html