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the moment (or day) of truth

Posted by Manda on April 30, 2002, at 21:47:55

I have my first appt. with my new pdoc tomorrow morning, and I'm a little nervous. Well, a lot nervous. I'm worried about what he might tell me, not necessarily tomorrow, but in the days ahead. I'm worried that I might actually be bipolar, as everyone around me seems to think right now. On the other hand, if I am bipolar, I'm scared that he won't think that I am, and that I won't get the help that I need.

Also tomorrow- I have to go and beg for mercy from one of my professors. I have a paper due for him on Saturday that's worth 100% of my grade, and there's NO way that I can get it done, since I have two other papers, a presentation, and an exam in the meantime. (To make things better, I have finals next week.) I'm terrified b/c if he decides not to let me get an incomplete for his class (and finish the paper this summer), then I have no other option but to fail his class. Any tips on how to talk to him about this? I'm scared that I'll say the wrong thing and mess up my GPA (and my self-esteem) forever.

I'm hoping that my new pdoc will write me some sort of note to help explain to my professor that I'm really not lazy, just mentally ill. I've never been as screwed up as I have been in the last month or so. I can't handle this much longer. I've never felt so out of control and vulnerable.

I hope that there's some meds that can help. I hope that my professor understands. I hope that I can achieve some sort of stability in my life, if only for those who care about me. I know how much it worries them to see me like this. If only they knew how much I don't tell them to protect them...

-Manda


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poster:Manda thread:22937
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020430/msgs/22937.html