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verbose meaning junkies or why I'm hot for Jews

Posted by trouble on March 18, 2002, at 8:55:17

Hey Wow, lookit the time, no sleep, but there's always tomorrow. Just had a sandwich, first food in 3 days, that's a good sign. I'm HUNGRY, might just go out for breakfast.

I've been printing out articles on trauma all night, have about 80 pages here. There's a lot of research on its effect on personality development, lots of neurobiological junk too, and, I'm pleased to see, a therapeutic emphasis on organizing a personal narrative, to try to find some meaning in it. Yup. I can usually tell by the way someone talks if they've experienced the kind of psychic rupture that trauma creates: they become Verbose Meaning Junkies. To quote Bigmac MacBeth:

"Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
whispers the o'er fraught heart and bids it break."

I haven't kept up w/the PTSD therapy. Once the UNCTUOUS INNER CHILD paradigm took over I folded my deck. The last (20 dollar) lecture I went to on PTSD was 8 years ago, and the speaker, up on the stage, sat on the floor, took her shoes off, wiggled her toes and invited us to do the same and as I was running for my life I noticed something like ninety hundred thousand million recovery books on the entry hall recovery tables, along w/recovery bumper stickers, recovery buttons, recovery coffee recovery mugs, recovery lithorecoverygraphs, so, needless to say, I went straight home and had an all-nighter with Don Rickles.

I've never been able to read the body of scholarship either, I've got a few of the recognized texts, but it's too real, I can't handle it. We'll see where my psychologist wants to go. 'Til then y'all know where to find me-

"Wandering between two worlds,
One dead, the other powerless to be born" (Matthew Arnold)


love,
trouble


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