Posted by Tammy on January 21, 2002, at 23:44:36
hi everyone, help me decide or atleast let me know if im doing the right thing......
last yr. i was having panic attacks, promised to quit smoking, and thru me right into shock... "i loved smoking" so i went on paxil, 20mg dec of 2000 till i gained 30lbs and wanted off april 2001 (4months)... paxil did help keep the urge of smoking away... probably cause i was sleeping :) most of the time.... but i thought paxil was a miracle cause i left my old job of 10yrs to move to something new which was stressful to decide..... so i pick a medical field which for myself i love the knowledge, but to combine the knowledge for me.... to someone else.....i cant do it..... i get so upset to see someone sick in pain or hurting....... i have 4 months to go for my lpn certificate (good grades) and i cant finish, this has been bugging me since end of november which 2wks away from a yr. (not smoking) got me to light up again..... well then down hill from there.... i felt not only did i let myself down on the smoking, but i was gonna let myself down on the nursing too...... then hit me harder thoughts of feeling hopeless and worthless..... took me down fast....
so 2wks ago....i couldnt handle any more smoking or worrying what to do at this point my mind is spinning and i hate everyone fruious with tension..... dr. gave me wellbutrin i was more afraid of the thoughts that i was having then anything........ so im deciding all this stress and nonsense thinking, has got the best of me i have to get rid of what is causing my stress and depression..... (which is school) i've decided to quit the program, but i feel like i let everyone down..... but really im the kindest person ud ever want to meet, and would take care of u in a heart beat... but to see all the sick and everything else that goes on, (behind the scenes) that i really didnt need to know...i thought i was helping myself with knowledge (cause i like to know all about illness's)and rule out signs and symptoms so "i" dont have it... :) instead i was returning myself to anxiety and depression...... as i layed in my bed and thought i cant handle this anymore im quiting ...... a huge sigh of relief was lifted from me.... and i could breathe again..... my husband is so supportive he told me to quit when i first started getting aggitated but no i thought i had to prove something..... do i?
am i wrong? everyone i tell i think im gonna quit they say o my gosh only 4 months to go...... thats not long!!!!!!maybe not for school but 4 months is an eternity for stress and depression.....
any reply is greatly appreciated..... sometimes we all need encouragement that everything is ok.... and i need it..... :) :) thanks alot.....
tammy..... smiling on the outside :) :) :)
thanks so much in advance....
poster:Tammy
thread:17052
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020112/msgs/17052.html