Posted by Katey on December 17, 2001, at 3:03:56
In reply to Re: isolation » Mair, posted by wendy b. on December 16, 2001, at 23:16:19
i'm addicted to the boards when i'm worried about someone or when i've posted something important and i want to see if i've been replied to. otherwise i check once, maybe twice a day at the most.
> > Thanks all of you who responded to my post. Depression is such an isolating illness, particularly since it doesn't always have a physical manifestation. The difficulty I have in figuring out how to draw on the support of others, and the energy i expend trying to maintain the pretense of normalcy, makes the isolation more acute.
> >
> > This board has been a godsend for me too. The first time i started coming here, it was just such a relief to discover alot of people who could relate to what i was experiencing. I didn't have to go through a great struggle making myself understood.
> >
> > It's understandable that when depressed we'd feel disconnected. What I struggle with sometimes, is having that same feeling even when I'm not as depressed. The worst feelings can go away, but it seems that I've conditioned myself to withdraw.
> >
> > Mair
>
>
> Dear Mair,
>
> I started to write to you the other night after you first posted the initial message, but I was falling asleep at the wheel, so I promised myself I'd write as soon as I could. Went to NYC for a quick overnight, and I'm back...
>
> You present issues like this so well. We all, and I mean all people, period, have issues with sociability. Right now my group therapy is doing a lot for making me more aware about communication at all levels... how we get along, how we interact, what kind of feedback and support we get from some people, the discouragement and insensitivity we get from others. And then trying to guage our reactions to these situations, it makes for the stuff of life. In social situations, I find that my inability to interpret other people's meaning makes life more difficult for me, and wonder if I have a little BPD. That rift between what people are 'really' saying and how I interpret it is sometimes huge. Like everything negative someone might say to me is not necessarily an attack on me...
>
> As for the Board keeping us from being social in the real world , well, this world is real too. The things we express, and the support we gain, is very real, and has made me feel 'connected' to people in a way that is kind of uncanny. In fact, I would posit a theory that 'talking' things through with other friends here on the Board, and getting better at expressing ourselves (even though it's 'only' in writing), gives us a way to practice saying what we think, like doing a run-through. And being honest and open here might help us be more like that with family and friends.
>
> The deeper social implications having to do with when or why or how often we post stuff on the Board could be many and various. And they might be felt by us over time, and we might feel differently a year from now about it, but that doesn't make it any less valid. Connecting with your world could take place in a lot of different venues. Why limit ourselves, especially when the technology is here to be exploited? Imagine how I felt when I was feeling isolated, like you say, that's the depressive's mode of operation, and then found out there were many, many other people who were a lot like me, and I could TALK to them about my perceptions and feelings. I suppose almost all of us have felt incredibly validated and relieved, that the big 800-lb. gorilla hiding in our closets (our illness) could be exposed and even discussed. In terms of my own denial of my illness, I became enlightened, if I can call it that. I wasn't alone. That's very powerful stuff...
>
> The two activities you mention (being 'social,' vs. posting on the Board) shouldn't have to be mutually exclusive. Regarding it becoming 'addictive' behavior, I can't speak for other people, I'm sure it could turn into an addiction. And then it might be detrimental to a person's health (mental or otherwise). But I haven't reached that point yet, I'm sure most of us haven't. As far as I'm concerned, the benefits outweigh the risks.
>
> I'll stop now, but you raise some great points here, and I hope others will chime in about their possible 'addiction' to PB and/or PSB. Or their opinions about whether it prevents us from dealing with the real world, so to speak.
>
> Getting close to X-mas, I can feel it coming. Hope you are well,
>
> Wendy
poster:Katey
thread:15516
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011216/msgs/15673.html