Posted by akc on November 30, 2001, at 7:20:38
In reply to Re: I called my T, posted by Greg A. on November 30, 2001, at 3:23:24
> Keep us posted. Check out those meds.
Greg,
In some ways I would agree with you on this. But in my heart, I don't think that is what is the root of the problem here. Let me explain.
I've changed my meds so often, I can't do it any more. And just 6 or 7 weeks ago, I had a period of about 2 months (with my mom terminally ill) that I was doing quite well -- not high, or anything -- but maintaining a pretty even mood considering everything going on.
My T hasn't mentioned my meds yet -- and she is also an RN as well as a therapist who tries to stay on top of the med side. In the past, when she has thought it was the meds, she has been quick to point it out and have me call my pdoc. In the 2 1/2 years I have been with this T, I have grown to trust her (well, for the most part, given my reluctance to trust anyone).
I'm not going to be quick to call my pdoc -- who will adjust my meds, probably upping my effexor as she mentioned in our last appointment because of the depression. I just don't want to go there.
I want in life for once to deal. I know cutting is not dealing. But I don't know that the meds are any better. Every bad spell we change something. Maybe I need to go through this -- maybe I need to just feel my feelings -- both my T and the T who leads group are convinced that are the root of this is my mom's illness. And that what is happening is all sorts of stuff is being triggered. And that I have never really learned how to have feelings.
So while some of what is going on may indicate a depression or something off with my meds, I am not certain. And given that no med change seems to prevent another spell in some ways convinces me of this -- especially since I have periods of stability, well I have had a period of stability this time. I don't think this is about my meds. I think this is about the fact that I am 36 years old and have never learned how to cope with life.
I miserable, yet I need to find the energy to make a change.
akc
poster:akc
thread:14584
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14595.html