Posted by wendy b. on November 29, 2001, at 15:26:37
In reply to Re: Wendy where are you? :) » wendy b., posted by Krazy Kat on November 29, 2001, at 10:09:24
> Wendy:
>
> Your writing is always so clear. I'm sorry you've been going through this. Usually when we "disappear" for awhile from here, it seems to be either because we're feeling too bad, or too good.
Thank you for the comment about my writing... you and Sar and I should really do our writing stuff and send each other drafts. AFTER your trip to Spain, though, hope this catches you before you go, and how long will you be gone? I'll miss your cheery posts...
> Like Mair, I get anxious on the day I meet with my pdoc. In fact, I didn't go in to see him today (just couldn't take the two hour train ride), and am going to speak to him on the phone instead.
I know what you mean about anxiety on the day of the appointment. Sometimes I'm happy to go in, other times I think I just want to be alone and not go out. But then I realize that when I can get to the appointment on a day like that, that's part of the therapy, too. Sometimes there is a flurry of cancellations. It's only ever because of schedule conflicts with my daughter's life and happenings, or her staying home from school because of illness. The therp got annoyed about it the day of the bad session, too, so that was on top of the other stuff. She was 'regaling' me (or so I thought) about keeping 'commitments' that I had made with other people. Like I didn't know what that meant or something...
> I think we need to keep in mind that they're just meant to help us look at things from a different perspective. We certainly shouldn't let ourselves be overly influenced by themYes, I really look up to her in a lot of ways. Though I know that's dangerous. She's just been so helpful to me in the past, I couldn't shake the feelings produced by the bad session, I felt she was annoyed with me, I thought she was being insensitive, etc, etc. Sometimes I just have to tell the voice inside me to shut up for awhile, too noisy in there... tomorrow I will, invariably, feel differently about the situation. And that's the one constant, the changeability of my mood! Ironic as it is...
>I have a problem - despite my low self-esteem, which makes no sense - of thinking I'm more intelligent than most people anyway, so I always take advice/suggestions with a grain of salt. This can't be good.Of course not, but who cares? And you and Susan are right, the people who show up here on the board ARE more intelligent than your average bear (Yogi reference.. "How 'bout stealing some pic-i-nic baskets, Boo Boo?")
I guess the better thing would be moderation, I usually don't listen to people either, and just do what I feel is right. Because I AM smarter than they are *about me*. But I go back and forth over whether I don't listen to people enough, and hear the good suggestions, or the other side, which is: I've been listening to other people my whole life, being a GOOD GIRL, and so far, it hasn't helped... or it hasn't helped *much* I guess. The therp says I gotta break out... true, I think.
> Sounds like you've come to a good point with it though.Yes, it's better. Xanax to the rescue! Seriously, though, I have been influenced by my Buddhist friend enough so that I am chanting, not regularly, but some. It DOES help me remain focused... the goal right now.
>
> - K.Hope this catches you before you fly to Spain!
Wendy
poster:wendy b.
thread:14406
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14537.html