Posted by Gracie2 on October 18, 2001, at 14:53:53
In reply to Re: Where's the carrot??, posted by Greg A. on October 17, 2001, at 23:56:02
Greg-
No, I still have some emotional problems that I am dealing with, and I need medication to keep myself on a (somewhat) even keel. But I am SO much more better than I used to be. Sometimes I could drink responsibly and at other times I just went wild (this is before I was diagnosed and began treatment for bi-polar illness). I was hospitalized twice as suicidal while I was drinking, once for an overdose that sent me into convulsions, and once when I called 911 at 4:00am to ask for the number to a suicide hotline. I was stupidly explaining to her the importance of shooting yourself in the head with a small-caliber bullet like a .22 that would ricochet around inside the skull instead of leaving a terrible mess in the room. The next thing I knew, the cops were pounding at the door. "Thanks a lot!" I yelled at the operator. So, you know, they took me away, and I was committed. At least they didn't put me in a strait-jacket or anything.When I think of that now, a year later, I can still hardly believe that I was capable of doing such a thing, even if I was manic and drunk. It's understandably shameful to me and I would not be capable of doing that now. Although I would never intentionally hurt anyone else, I was certainly self-destructive. When I quit drinking heavily (though I am still a "social drinker") and started taking medication, that part of me went away. I think that not drinking has just as much to do with it as the medication.
Best wishes on your journey in the land of sobriety. It only gets better as you go along.
-Gracie
poster:Gracie2
thread:12625
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011015/msgs/12665.html