Posted by Greg on October 6, 2001, at 13:12:40
In reply to Re: Now, for Something Completely Different: A Survey, posted by Willow on October 5, 2001, at 21:20:13
> GREG
> "Tell me that there are 400 billion stars in the sky and I'll believe you.
> Tell me that a bench has wet paint and I have to touch it."
>
> I have a question for you. Have you ever been tempted to reach for the stars? In a literal sense, wanting to know more about them. Wouldn't that be the same as touching the wet paint?
>
> Little WillowHi Willow,
I guess what I was reaching for was how my belief system works.
I find it so much easier to believe in the intangibles around me. Those things I can't explain. I fully believe that I've been able to maintain almost 14 years of sobriety because I made the choice to put my life into the hands of a higher power, who I believe is god. I can't see him, or touch him, and I've certainly never talked to him, but I believe he's there. Just like I believe in those 400 billion stars that I'll never see. The things I can't explain have never let me down or caused me pain. They feel safe to me.
On the other hand, the tangibles in my life, especially my parents and my grandfather, have been tremendous sources of pain. Many of the things I could see, touch and feel have let me down in my life, destroyed my trust. I have trouble taking the good things in life at face value, I guess I don't feel deserving of being treated well. I rec'd a letter from AOL yesterday offering me a free pocket organizer for just filling out a questionaire and mailing it back to them. Them even sent a stamped envelope. I read the letter 6 times looking for the catch... I had to touch the paint.
I don't know if this makes any sense, but at 46, I'm still trying to grow up.
Greg
poster:Greg
thread:12078
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011006/msgs/12191.html