Posted by JennyR on September 17, 2001, at 21:48:02
In reply to Re: Think I fired my therapist - VERY upset (LONG), posted by JennyR on September 16, 2001, at 18:46:13
I live in NYC. Witnessed much of the WTC incident in person from one mile away. Had my husband caught up in that second implosion - he ran from that cloud of dust, debris and glass, got covered in ash, but unhurt - he ducked into a Burger King. Life here has been turned inside out. This is at the same time as I am dumping my therapist. I can't get rid of the sick feeling inside and can't even separate which is contributing to what extent. Just so shaken. A pervasive feeling that you are never safe. A terrible sense of overwhelming loss. Can't even separate out how much is from losing my therapist who I had strong feelings for vs. losing a sense that there is some safety in everyday routines.
Numb, then crying, then numb, then angry, then numb.
Everyone I know knows someone who died. I know people who made narrow escapes. I still look each day at where the World Trade Center was (work a mile away) and see the smoke still coming out of it.
My marriage is not good either, and I really truly believe now that there is no point to anything. There is no safety, no security, not anywhere. No, I'm not suicidal. But I'm finding everything so extraordinarily difficult.
I did set up an appointment with the woman I consulted when my therapist was on his unannounced vacation. But I told her it is just for a couple of times to look at how this whole therapy thing ended and how it tore me up, that I do not want any protracted involvements again.
Thanks for letting me rant.
poster:JennyR
thread:9067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010915/msgs/11508.html