Posted by annalaura on July 9, 2001, at 5:38:19
In reply to Re: is suicide ever rational?________________nyet!, posted by stjames on July 8, 2001, at 15:46:48
> > Kazoo,
> > I don't think it's true that one doesn't recover from the suicide death of a loved one. Of course there is horrible pain and questions - the what ifs? and whys? but eventually it's possible to get to a place where you realize: this was his decision. This is what he wanted. Who am I to demand he stay here with the kind of unremitting, constant, psychic pain he felt. I'm pretty sure my remaining siblings feel the same way.
>
> James here.....
>
> Get over it....Ha ! I have had 2 people kill themselves and to this day no one has a clue.
> I will never get over having to clean up the office after K put a gun in his mouth. Picking brain and skull off the walls makes a lasting impression. Suicide does not give closure, survivers never get over it.
>
> jamesJames,
I don't agree with you on this point: a friend of mine threw herself under a train three years ago. They took her to the hospital and cut her legs off. She stayed alive just for one week, she eventually died of septicaemia (infection).
I was shocked, i was badly hurt, that's true; the previous week i hung out with her, she looked fine: she was a talented, intelligent and extremely beautiful young woman (she was 29). She was an artist and excelled in her field (contemporary art). I recall a few days before her death mumbling something about being a failure, having low self-esteem and stuff like that, but i couldn't imagine what she was planning to do. Just the day before she died she left a message in my answering machine. She said she felt bad. I was supposed to call her the following day, but that day i felt sick also : i was about to plunge in the black hole of depression for the second time. So i called a friend of mine and i spent the day with him .
When i got to know Alessandra had died i felt terrible: i thought i could never forget that, felt guilty too, but eventually the anguish subsided: it took two more years, but now i feel fine, i recall the nice aspects of her personality: she was a special person, too bad she died, 'cause the world badly needs peolpe like her.
Another friend of mine committed suicide: he was really sick, mentally ill since he was 16 years old (when he died he was 27). I wasn't astonished this time, 'cause he was very very sick, taking haldol at high dosages and still feeling terrible.He had been in to asylums many times. He just couldn't stand this situation anymore: i understood him, knew why he did that. I told myself: "I hope you're at peace now, Lorenzo, life it has been so unfair to you".
I think one can justify someone else suicide mainly because he/she had been trough that also. I kow i have, so that it's way easier for me to forgive people who committ suicide.
poster:annalaura
thread:7031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7242.html