Posted by yo-wazzzup on June 21, 2001, at 21:42:15
Not sure if y'all are familiar with Hallmark's Maxine. She's a lil' old lady w/attitude...I was having anouther crappy day in paradise today. (paxil withdrawl, nothing to ease the transition to anouther med., saw GP-waiting to get a mamogram, depressed...I'm sure you get the general idea) Stopped in @ the card shop & picked up a book 2 dig up a smile. ALL STRESSED UP-MAXINE'S THOUGHTS ON LIFE'S LITTLE IRRITATIONS You won't get the full impact of the cartoons that accompany the quotes, but I'm hoping it'll suffice.
-To stay relaxed in today's frantic, stressful world, you have to force yourself to stop & put your feet up. I put mine up just high enough to kick the butt of whoever's annoying me.
-The secret to leading a tranquil life is to ignore petty annoyances & save your anger for really serious matters. Like if somebody looks at you funny.
-I don't see the glass as half-empty or half-full. I see it as a glass somebody else has already put their lousy germs on.
-Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration.
-Sometimes it helps to count to 10 on your fingers. Or just one, if you know what I'm saying.
-I'll carpool when I can find three people who don't talk, sweat, wistle, or use calogne.
-I enjoy wallpapering, it gives me a chance to brush up on the swear words I haven't used in a while.
-I have a one-step program for dealing with stress. Well, one step and a kick to be exact.
-Caffine is for people who feel they aren't irritable enough on their own.
-The greatest thing about cordless phones is instead of hanging them up on people, you can just throw them.
-Sometimes the days just fly by--except for the day when you have to wait for the cable guy.
-My idea of a high-stress job is any job where you have to work with other people.
-Found something at the swimsuit shop I was really comfortable in. The dressing room.
-I like to give advice to young parents: but "Muzzle that screamin' brat!" isn't very well received.
-Experts say you can relieve stress by petting a cat. 'Course, it doesn't work if the cat's the one making you nuts in the first place.
-If I had a nickel for everytime I've misplaced my keys, there'd be a jarful of money that I'd also have to look for.
-Forgive me if I snap at you. I'm myself today.
-Just saw a three-hankie movie. That's how many I stuffed into the mouth of the talker behind me.
-Sometimes work can be stressful. Especially for people that work with me.
-I'm thinking of renewing my vow...to never get married again.
-I work out every day. Mostly frustrations & anger.
-My definition of " computer chip" is what's left after I sledgehammer the computer.
-Yelling really loud can sometimes ease tension...and sometimes it makes everyone else in the library jump out of their skin.
-Sometimes I wish my blood pressure and my stocks would change places.
-I hate getting behind people who can't drive. It's so hard for them to see my finger in their rearview mirror.
-If your life is an endless series of ups and downs, consider a more supportive bra.
-It's important to vent your frustrations. But you have to recognize the appropriate time and place to vent and blow off steam. For me it's anytime, anyplace.
-Taking a family vacation to get away from stress is like running down the railroad track to get away from the train.
-Call waiting is the perfect thing if you want to interrupt one annoying phone call to make anouther.
-The electric dental drill was invented over 100 years ago.Hurts just to read that doesn't it?
-All I really want is to be understood. Hence, the yelling.
Maybe it's just me (after all I am nutz), but I find Maxine funny. There's still half the book to go, but My brain hurtz right now :o(
poster:yo-wazzzup
thread:6633
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010611/msgs/6633.html